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Bodies in at seven

Where the Bodies are Buried has debuted at number seven in this week’s Sunday Times hardback bestseller list. I am also informed that the Amazon pre-orders were up around fifty percent on the figures for its predecessor, Pandaemonium. All those years mining the furthest, most bizarre reaches of my imagination and it turns out all I needed to do to notch up a bestseller was to write something plausible.

That said, pipping me to number six (by a tantalising single-figure margin of copies) was the new Jackie Collins, so maybe my future strategy should be to include far more shagging scenes, and get some Botox done for my next photo-shoot